As if i thought yesterday was bad.. well it was good but ended bittersweet...
Had supper with my smoke & kawfi kaki eD... had many a good laugh..
The bittersweet came later when I was on my way home.. and got a msg.. from a certain somebody who shall remain un-named... for now i guess.. but well.. the gist of it is that as much as i thought we were on the same wavelength and could possibly be with turns out.. he feels we're better off as friends.. and well though i'm a bit down on that.. i guess in some ways he's right.. so... it all comes down to the fact that i make a good buddy to many people.. but not more!
Why is that? Have I been sooo out of the game that I can't play it anymore? Or is it caused I'm used to the 'bad boys'... I guess i've always been the one to make the move on a guy.. and maybe that screws things up? I'm older now.. supposedly more wiser but when it comes to matters of the heart I guess i'm not that wise?! I'm not used to being chased or taking things naturally.. haha.. why is that? I can offer that advice to my frens but can't follow it? Do I jump the gun too soon and start thinking wedding bells??
Man.. i'm the last person to think of that now... YES I am looking for that special somebody I can share my thoughts, my likes, my whatever with... my life with.. yes.. but could he be under myn nose already? I've been on my own for the longest time.. and enjoy that lifestyle.. the company of my friends.. my own company and just doing my own thing... As much as I wanna be in a relationship... I dun want to give up this lifestyle.. I want to have the guy and my life too.. is that so hard or too much to ask?
I think back.. on my lifestyle.. is it too havoc? NO i don't think so.. yes i club quite a bit.. but that's my way of unwinding with my frens.. i don't PARTY to get laid or pick guys up?! hello! I just go to listen to the music and watch the fun but seriously!!! but i don't have to explain or defend myself on that. I know what i'm doing. I enjoy all creature comforts.. and the good life.. but I live the simple life.. most of the time... i'd rather curl up in front of the telly at home or in bed with a good book and my music... or just chill at the coffeshop with frens yakking away..
Now is that bad? Simple girl.. simple life.. but not what everybody thinks.. ASSUME - Makes an Ass out of U & ME!
Actually.. this outburst... is not just coz of that certain somebody coz that was yesterday and i was happily moving on.. enjoying my life again.. but coz today i got this nasty email from my so called best friend.. who has just disappointed me to the point of no return.. seriously.. i think i have said all i said in my reply and there's no going back from there.. and i'm not gonna talk anymore. It's always talk.. push the blame blah blah blah... whatever! After what we've been thru and the times I've covered his ass.. i get this kinda shit! Well so be it.. I've to get back on track.. and to hell with whatever he does... it HURTS! But I've been through worse and I can weather the situation and come out on top... WHY?!
Coz I'm a SURVIVOR! So there! Go Fish!
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