Someday at Christmas....

Merry Christmas!!!

And ironically a sad one for me. Flashback to a week back... where I had my Christmas plans all layed out... simple dinner cooked by me at home for me... and jus relaxing watching movies and quietly turn in Christmas... till I had a call.. and an invite to spend Christmas together... as friends, to go for dinner, mass and party after that.... even went as far as New Year's Eve plans too.... but I guess.. it was all talk... somehow, I hyped myself up for it... told my friends... I really won't be joining them...

Now I'm sitting here.. guess what?! Stood up on Christmas Eve.. how loser is that?! And so this is Christmas... It'd have been ok because I did intend to just chill at home... but I feel shitty coz, I thought it'd be a nice Christmas with somebody new, but turns out it's not... and not even a call to apologise.

So it's decided. Life is gonna be like this for me, even at Christmas time, so what's to say for the new year or many more years to come? I'm resigned to my fate.

I'm a capricorn, and we're natural loners so guess what?! I'll jus be my natural self and work my ass of, pay of my bills/debts or whatever, save money and when all that is done.. I'll disappear. Friends come and go, I'm sure my friends will understand and they have their lives too... so busy is as busy does... that's gonna be me.

Sorry but I think it's better this way. Not being dramatic here but just realistic. Christmas 2004 will always be the best one for me. Where I had all my family with me. From now on it's just gonna be ME!

Christmas! Bah Humbug!