Do or Do Not... There is NO Try!

i knew this was gonna happen... but whatever stress i've been under, physically, emotionally, mentally etc etc bla bla bla... just finally hit me... at it had to happen at the most public place ever.. i shall not say.. but i guess whoever was there.. will know lah
why i dunno.. alcohol maybe.. gets me high.. and gets me depressed as fast as lightning sometimes.. and that's what happened last nite.
too many things people were saying to me.. kept going around n around in my head.. seeing things i didn't want to see, talking to people i didn't really wanna, i dunno.. it was just a big mess going up in my head... and i cracked...
the last time this happened.. was ages ago... early twenties days... guess i'm not as strong as i think i am or make others think i am...
but it's normal rite? i'm only human..
At the end of the day.. i seriously wonder.. would I sacrifice my own happiness for the sake of another.. i mean.. if he/she's happy then i should be too rite?? even if it means, not saying the things I should say... which could go eitherway?? or could totally ruin a good thing...
that's why I always lose out.. and remain in the background... when it comes to certain things like matters of the heart... i'm the nice girl that finishes last... so.. guess i dun dare take the risk..
When it comes to work.. it's my passion that drives me & my creativity... and when somebody or some people keep crushing that passion... ur left with an empty shell...
That's what i feel like... a robot, working on auto drive, an empty shell with no spirit, no passion.
How the hell did i ever let that happen to me?! ME, the risk taker, firestarter, rebellious one, dare to try once kinda girl... where did my fighting spirit go?? I need to be more GUNG-HO!!
Do or Do Not... There is No Try!!!