Recently Overheard Ep 1

You won't believe the things you hear while on a bus, having lunch, at the spa or even while waiting for the bus.... and here are the excerpts....

ON THE BUS
On the bus, Night Rider from Clarke Quay to Pasir Ris...after the NYE celebration at 5am...picking up after party-goers at Clarke Quay
(ME seated at the back of the bus)
NERD 1 & NERD 2 get on and NERD 1 sits next to me... their conversation goes on n on n on until
NERD 1: Ya lor, I prefer Citibank becoz I can get all the points lah
NERD 2: Ah.. really that's good ah..
NERD 1: Yah.. (proceeds to take out his Platinum card to show NERD 2) good ah.
NERD 2: Yah.. so how is work ah, you going to meet up with NERD 3?
NERD 1: Oh yah work is good lah, protecting MP lor, everyday got different issues
NERD 2: Really like what happend?
NERD 1: Yah lah, there was this one time, one of the residents came to see him and he was quite desperate lor, he kept begging the MP to do something about his flat lar... but MP can't do anything wot! Can't change anything that's set up government or the HDB or whatever. So, the resident threatened him.. said... if you don't help me I will jump down and the resident went to jump!! But lukily hor.. we were there lah.. so MP told us to restrain him... then after that the resident broke down...
NERD 2: (Mouth agape) WAHHHHH so much drama ah?!
NERD 1: Yah.. but not everyday lor.. what to do we just do our job lah...
******
At this point, I remembered that I had my MP3 with me so I plugged in and tuned them out... but realising that the 2 NERDS were NUS grads who spoke fluent Singlish hor?!

HAVING LUNCH
(ME seated nicely eating my Chicken Rice until 2 Chinese Auntylike women & a student in uniform seat at my table)
**They didn't even ask me if the seats were taken, just sat down...
Conversation was in Mandarin which I just happen to understand!!
LADY 1: Wah just now on the bus I.. so unbelievable!
LADY 2: What happened ah?
LADY 1: There was this lady & and a student.. both 'chop' seat with their bag. The lady hor, dun look Chinese to me. Then got this Chinese man get up the bus, want to sit, she dun even bother to take away her bag. Then he look at the student and she finally move her bag for him to sit. So unreasonable.
LADY 2: Really ah? So rude ah
STUDENT: (shoving food into her mouth) mmmmhmmm (nods in agreement)
LADY 1: Then hor, this Malay man gets up and the lady move her bag for him. So racist!
LADY 2: Yah lor.. like the Ah Lians & Ah Bengs.. so rude...
STUDENT: yah hor..
**LADY 2 then realises that her friend is seated too close to me to eat her dessert so asks her to move to her side instead, which LADY 1 does very quickly.
LADY 1: Yah lor, these days arh.. so unreasonable people.. so rude
LADY 2 & STUDENT: Yah lor....
*****
ME finishes lunch ever so quickly to quietly excuse myself from this conversation before I threw up my lunch. Interesting conversation they were having about being polite when they didn't even ask me if the seats at my table were vacant. Interestingly, calling the lady who wasn't chinese a racist for not giving up her seat for one of 'em and to another race instead. And critiscing the youth of their kind.. I guess that's all in a day's work for these 2 ladies and as for the Student.. well, I wish her all the best in school!

AT THE SPA
ME just finished ever so bliss massage which I haven't been for in 4 months... and whilst sipping my green tea waiting for my consultant
CONSULTANT: Why you don't want to sign now? Very good offer, never to be repeated again you know
MEMBER: Yah but now is not the right time for me. Just got married and moved into my new house. I just took the voucher.
CONSULTANT: Ok, I give you special offer, only for you, nobody else will get this.
MEMBER: Oh really? How good is the offer
CONSULTANT: Ok, loyalty package is $2100 for 30 sessions. I give you the offer at $1600. And you still get 30 sessions, and I tell you what?! I'll throw in another 2 more for you. Just for you.
MEMBER: (Deep in thought) Let me think about it...
**AFTER 2 mins**
MEMBER: No lah, really cannot. Not at this time.
CONSULTANT: Ok lah.. but I cannot offer this to you if you come back again. Sorry ah.
MEMBER: It's ok. Thanks anyways
*****
My consultant arrives at this point of time. Asks me how was my massage and proceeds to tell me, I've got one more appointment why don't I sign up again. And she'll give me the LOYALTY PACKAGE!!! Hmmm Interesting...

WAITING FOR THE BUS
ME waiting somewhere at Chinatown for a bus..missed the first bus so while waiting..I noticed a Petite China Girl standing by the rails. What got me more interested was when she gave the coy & shy look to every guy that stood next to her. So I move in a little closer. Just then, a DIRTY OLD MAN (DOM) slides in next to her.
CHINA GIRL: Hi.. (shy & coy look)
DOM: Wah, Mei Nu (Pretty girl) how are you ah.
CHINA GIRL: Ok lah, you ok?
DOM: Yah, but I will be better if you come with me for awhile? hehehe
CHINA GIRL: Oh really. But I will go if you give me something first.. how? (blinks coyly again)
DOM: Ok.. we go for 1 hour, what you want..
CHINA GIRL: 1 hour ah.. erm.. 20 ok?
DOM: 20 ah.. ok, if more than 1 hour?
CHINA GIRL: more ah... ok lah, you look nice, 50 ok?
DOM: 50? Wah.. ok... i think can.. we go to a place nearby. You wait here, I come back shortly
CHINA GIRL: Hurry ok, first come first serve
DOM: Like that ah? ok ok.. wait ah.. u wait
*****
DOM walks away and I see my bus coming... I think he decided she not worth it. And as I got on the bus, she still stood there shy and coy looking at every guy standing next to her and waiting for one to make his move and give her the best offer.

It's been an interesting hellava few days of 2007!!!

Look out for more episodes of Recently Overheard