Blogging and what nots.....

Interesting thing.. blogging... what to me started a few years ago.. some have been doing for ages.... and now there are so many 'blog' sites appearing... twitter etc etc.. to name a few...

I already have a few yahoo email accounts, a hotmail account for MSN Chatting, a skype account, a gmail account and this blog account... to add another like twitter etc.. man.. it'd be hard to keep track.

When I was single and had a lot of free time when I wasn't going out.... I could blog almost every day... and there'd be times where I'd even blog during office hours... let's just say I am good at my work and able to finish the priorities thus leaving me with some time to spare and blog :) even if it was just a few lines.

Some blog because they are Narcissitic (as my hubby puts it), I blog coz it's an outlet for me and at the same time, does update family & friends around the world on what's happening in my life.... yeah i know others will be reading it.. and spammers will be spamming my c-box with all sorts of posts and what nots... c'est la vie!

Recently, I have been following the posts of my hubby's 12 going on 13 yr old daughter, whom he has lost contact with, sadly and much to his disappointment. I shan't go into details here but whatever it was, all had their bad points and made their mistakes. What is important is moving forward, how do they get on....

Well, my hubby is trying, doing nothing short of extraodrinary to make a living and a life. Despite the odds, he has come through and continues to strive. Why? He was living and doing all this for me, for his daughter and for his own sanity :D

Yet, his daughter, has in his own words, 'Changed'. Perhaps it was because he couldn't be there, not by choice. His daughter, to me is lucky that her father still wants to be a part of his life.

For me, most of the last 15 odd years, and maybe even longer, I never had a relationship with my father. Which is odd, because, to-date, he is staying with me, cooking for me and contributing (minimally) towards the bills. The relationship we have today is far different than most father-daughter relationships go, but I'm happy.

I look at it this way... my father had to 'grow-up' in his own way and time... and I as a daughter had to give him that time to do so... and in my own way, i came into my own thru my own perserverance.

Deep huh!?!?!

Hatred is actually very sad. It eats at you from inside, and changes you. I haven't experienced that kind of hatred... personally. But I've seen how it can change people.

My mantra has always been to let go... people who have hurt me, stepped all over me, maligned me and whatever... i just let go.... Karma... what goes around, comes around. I don't wish ill on them, in fact, I wish them all the best! Life is too short to have hatred and plan revenge whatever.

I know I have changed... and i hope for the better.... before, I always thought about myself first... of course, love for family and close friends ranked a close 2nd... but now, I have a husband and we want to start a family... I have in-laws: an older brother and sister of sorts and 3 lovely nieces to call mine...

Priorities have changed.... life seems normal... ups & downs will come and go... but life goes on.... it has too....

And... the most important thing.. is FAITH... yes... I've come to adopt that approach as well... it makes me stronger... it does....

Carpe Diem!

3 Years On.....

Can't believe it's 3 years already.... still seems like yesterday...

I guess.. in a way I've moved on.. and yet... in a way I've not. Can't really say that I will. Life goes on.. and we just deal with it. But with something that was so strong... that kind of friendship, that feeling.. doesn't go away.


Keith Morton 5 June 1979 - 15 August 2004

In rememberance of a great guy, who lit up my life... and still does in his way... Keith..boy... I miss ya... at least.. now u kinda have more company up there... with the recent passings...

If I never liked funerals then.. the feeling hasn't changed.. in fact it's just worse.. I will go out of respect but I'd rather not.. and just say a prayer for the deceased. Family or Friend.. death and funerals... cut too close to home... still and will be for awhile.. it's something I have to deal with in my own way...

Should I... Really?

I get my horoscope emailed to me.. both my daily one and the single's love horoscope.. haha dun ask me why... just one of those things I signed up for ages ago... not that I really believe in such things.. coz I tend to read it a day or two too late.. but then when I reflect back.. it kinda rings true...

So this is today's horoscope..... and I'm wondering... should I? As the saying goes.. "Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda..."

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Talking about your feelings to an intimate friend or lover is not the easiest thing in the world for you Goats, but it's important that you bring your intentions up to the surface. There's no room now for calculated thinking. You cannot just say something in order to get a specific response. Just be in the moment and express your heart.
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Trouble is... I've done so in the past with very depressing results.. so the thought of 'expressing my heart' I'm wary... and at the end of it all.. what do I really want?

Baaahhhhh if the feeling is mutual sooner or later... it'll all surface... hahahah... and I'm content with the attention I'm getting... gonna have to decide on one soon though... time is catching up with me :) hahahahahahaha

6 months from today.. I'll be turning 30.. and I've decided on a RETRO CRAZE PARTY!! Don't ask!

All time low..

You know.. I know i've made my mistakes and I am a disappointment to my family...
but despite all that.. I'm still trying to prove my worth to the family and to this world...

It's still not enough...

When will it ever be enough?

All I want is some support... but the only ones who have supported me are my friends... come to see me where I work and take the time to listen and offer advice.

Family... do nothing but give you that disappointed look and nag... continuously.

What's a girl gotta do to erase the look of shame???

Please tell me.... my spirit is broken... and I don't know what more I have to do...

Right... time to go walk in front of a bus and disappear.

Bye!

A Hero in Life & Death

Saw this on Yahoo News... and tot I had to put this up...

They say Dog is a Man's Best Friend... and it is very true.

George - Hero in Life & Death

RIP George...

Not To Worry......

A few days ago, I had word that my uncle's brother had passed away... although not directly related to him.. I always saw him at my uncle's place on birthday's and such.. And to me.. he was a jolly good guy who was always smiling and cracking a joke... but then again.. i think the whole family has that unique sense of humour.. I was shocked when I heard he passed away.. coz I always tot him to be quite healthy, hearty & hale... he had just celebrated his 86th birthday 2 weeks ago..
Sadly, he was a bachelor and lived alone... and the last that somebody spoke to him was his sister on Sunday night... when friends failed to reach him on Monday when he didn't show for an appointment, calls started.. and finally on Tuesday... they got into his house...
As his youngest brother said in his eulogy... "He died in the arms of Jesus" as he was found in a sleeping fetal position... at least he had gone without suffering. He was also the one who always said... "Not To Worry" and will always be remembered for that.
Being at his wake & funeral & cremation.. was a bit too close to home... as the last 2 times I had been to either of these was for a very close friend and my grandmother. And it may be coming to 3 years for Keith & 2 years for Nano.. I still have tears. But I remain strong and perservere...
One interesting thing Father Augustine said at the funeral mass....
"Life is a journey... to the everlasting life, which is death. We spend so much time preparing our house in this lifetime, have we prepared our house for the eternity? When we die, our journey has ended and we await the kingdom of heaven. Until then, we must suffer in our journey."
As Uncle Ben would have said...."Not To Worry!"
R.I.P Uncle Ben, we'll miss you....